Father

On Thanksgiving my dad decided to chose that special dinner to heavily debate his political and religious beliefs. I wanted to avoid it but Brett jumped right in and it turned into a long discussion/argument. Basically my father has completely opposite beliefs from Brett and I. That is fine but his beliefs are outdated and ignorant and he really couldn't come up with a rational point that would sway Brett or I. With that in mind my father is seems to be convinced our minds need to be changed. Well this argument ruined dinner and the rest of the evening. Might not be so bad if dad actually would talk to us any other time in that day. But no, he justs want to debate and say nothing else. I even had my Mom try to tell me I should say goodbye to him before we left. I didn't want to and he went to bed without a word before I could. Question is why should I? Why should I hold on to some kind of relationship with this man. The same man who sacrificed a relationship with his children so he can work hard, doing what he supposedly dreamed of doing as a child and what ultimately made him miserable. Most of my childhood memories of him consist of him coming home on the weekends and being a major grump. Taking all his frustrations from the road into our home and throwing it at whomever dared approach him. He wasn't approachable, he was just scary. My teenage memories consist of getting high with him and then sitting through a big long lecture of how I'm neurotic and whatever religious or psychology mumbojumbo he had read that week. Because he was not around during the week to watch my teen angst he would usually psychoanalyze my actions and tell me while both of us were high on the weekend. Now at 26 all this imagery that I had of my dad, the intelligence, the wisdom of age, and the book smarts are all disappearing. What I now am left with is a image of a sad and miserable man who has been so secluded in his truck for the past 30+ years that he has no idea the impact his absence has had on his children and on his beliefs. A man who has never been able to learn to be happy without the help of drugs. A man whose parents were so messed up that he was never able to allow himself a normal life. I do pity this man but I also blame him. For all my struggles to live a happy life why couldn't he do the same. He would probably think that I have it easier and maybe I do but I do have a mental illness. I have dealt with years of suicidal thoughts and low self esteem. I have dealt with emotional and physical abuse from someone I thought I loved. I have dealt with watching several family members waste their lives with drug use and I was almost one of them. The difference is I learned from my experiences. I learned I have to deal with my problems and not medicate them. Now that I'm at the happiest I could ever wish to be I am being told by the most miserable man I know that my beliefs are wrong. Wait I'm not being told anything because this man barely talks to me, no he told my husband whom I share the same beliefs with. Now I feel like this man no longer even cares about a relationship with me but rather with my husband. Maybe because Brett is a much better man than Dad's own failed son. I can't blame him for wanting a good son figure. Too bad he doesn't want another good daughter figure. He should know that no matter how close he is to Brett, it doesn't erase the anger I feel towards him and his failures. He should also know that if he keeps pushing than he will lose me. At this point it won't be too hard.

Pumpkin Patch

A couple of weeks ago we, along with Rissie and our friends, went to a pumpkin patch. There was a corn maze, a huge slide, a cotton maze, and a "hay" ride. Surprisingly there wasn't a pumpkin patch, just pumpkins brought in to sell. Although that was kind of lame the rest was really fun. Here are some pictures.

Happy Halloween

We had a blast walking through the 'hood trick-or-treating and later eating chili with friends. Here are some photos. The jack-o-lanterns are Brett's(left) and mine(right).

Farewell Friend

As you all know this year I started a garden for the first time. Little did I know it would turn out so successful. There were a few things that failed like the potatoes and one or two pepper and tomato plants but most held strong to the end. Speaking of end, the weatherman is predicting our first freeze tomorrow and Wednesday morning so it would seem unavoidable that I will get much more from my garden. With the promise of frost I tore apart my garden trying to salvage what I could. The picture at the bottom left is what I was able to get. The whole summer I was planning on posting about my garden but never got around to it. I took the upper picture last week and as you can see the set up was pretty massive. I just wasn't thinking of spacing when we purchased all those plants. Next year I hope to expand and add more types of vegetables. I hope to jar and freeze more for the winter as I haven't prepared this year like I should have. As you can see I do have some extras I need to deal with so if anyone needs me I will be busy in my kitchen making pesto, tomato sauce, and fried green tomatoes amongst other things.

Welcome Fall

Although fall technically started a month ago, it officially started here in MidTN last week. Despite some allergies and colds, we are welcoming it with open arms. We kicked off the season with a visit to the Nashville Zoo's Ghouls at Grassmere. Basically they put the animals away and decorate certain areas of the zoo for halloween by adding a bouncy house, a maze, a hayride, a game tent, and a trick or treat trail. We arrived within an hour before close so we didn't get to use our hayride tickets and we had to rush through all the activities to get to the treats trail. If we go next year we will definitely arrive earlier.

Cheekwood Part 1

Last Saturday, after a week of horrible sickness, Brett, Declan, and I took advantage of some free passes(thanks Ris!) and went to Cheekwood to check out the last weekend of the "Happily Ever After" exhibit. We had been looking forward to it all summer, only waiting for cool weather to come. Luckily what was left of Gustav brought us much needed rain and very comfortable temperatures. This is the first of 6 posts detailing the different displays they had, each one being a different fairy tale. There were actually 8 displays but I bunched it into 6 based on available pictures. I've opted to post this backwards so that you, the reader can simply scroll down to the next post. I read a lot of blogs and that is the one thing I hate about the layout is that if there are related posts, the reader has to read them backwards unless they happen to catch each post just as it is published. I plan on posting backwards with all my series. Also I am rating each of the displays by interactiveness and explanation of the story. Enjoy

The first display was "Three Billy Goats Gruff" which was a very visually detailed display. This being our first exhibit, it was cool to start the tour with the large flowers(pictured in the background) . The picture shows most of the exhibit. You can see that there is a plaque which is included in all the displays but they offer little explanation but rather quotes from the stories. I don't really remember this story so I was somewhat confused although it's obviously about a creature blocking a bridge to a better place. I guess the stepping stones underneath are supposed to be water? Declan had fun walking on the bridge. B

Cheekwood Part 2

The second display was of "The Sword and the Stone". I had never thought of the story as a fairy tale before. Maybe because it was never included in any of my fairy tale books I had growing up but it is a fictional story all the same. Despite that this was a pretty cool display. I loved that they had the sword in the stone for anyone to play with and Declan seemed interested enough in it. Across from the walkway was King Arthur's castle which somewhat explains the story, but not really. I didn't go inside but I'm assuming there is no details of the story on the wall. Otherwise, any display with a play house is a plus in my book. BThe next two displays lack pictures because they just didn't turn out that good.

Thirdly we have "Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves". This display consisted of a structure with mirrored outer walls and a "secret" entrance covered by a tapestry. The inside of the structure had treasures and sand covering the floor. The sand added a nice touch but mixing it with muddy shoes was unappealing. Luckily we had a lot of walking left to do. It had been a long time since I had read the story and I think I have only read it once because it was pretty long if I remember correctly so I was kind of fuzzy on the story and the display didn't really explain much. The only explanation was a plaque that mentioned the famous line "open sesame". Declan liked going into the house and Brett and I walked away puzzled about the details of the story. C

The fourth display was "Rumpelstiltskin". Luckily I remember this story so I was able to explain it to Brett. This was one of the more fun ones because there were three separate structures. First was a structure depicting a castle and the straw room and inside were portraits of the characters painted on the walls. Just outside of that was the spinning wheel. Follow a stone trail and you will see a camp fire set up with a fire painted on wood surrounded by tree stumps. Follow another stone trail, each with a letter from Rumplestilskin's name(very cleaver) and you will find his little house in the woods. Through out the structures are quotes from the story which really helped piece the story together. The only weird part was inside Rumplestitskin's house was furniture that looked very out of place. For example the chair had faux leather upholstery and the table looked like a coffee table. This would have been better with a simple wood table and chair. A+

Cheekwood Part 3

The fifth display was of "The Princess and the Pea". This one would have been a lot better had it not just rained. Luckily this is about as close as Declan got to the display. It doesn't explain the story or offer any literary quotes but it might have been fun just to play on. I refrained from touching it to see if there was anything under the mattress to represent the pea. I'm assuming there had to be because otherwise this display but be nearly as good. C-

Cheekwood Part 4

The sixth display was of "Little Red Riding Hood". It basically was several boards mounted together like a folding book with artwork depicting several points of the story. Although the artwork was very impressive and beautiful, I thought this display was the worst due to a lack of interactive play. Sure to an older child or an adult this is probably one of the better ones in telling the story and for the visuals. For a toddler, however, this wasn't very interesting although Declan liked the wolf. D

Cheekwood Part 5

The seventh display was of the story of Rapunzel. It featured Rapunzel in her famous tower and a portrait of the witch on the back. Also on the back were some different mirrors that distorts the viewer's image. I'm not really sure what that was about but otherwise I thought the tower was creative and fun. Inside Rapunzel's room are different pictures of worldly sights that she is dreaming of escaping to which I thought added a nice touch to show her feeling of isolation. My favorite part was the hair climbing rope which made this display and the alternative climbing ramp, allowing any child to act out the story. Declan opted to climb the ramp. A-

Cheekwood Part 6

The eighth and last display was of The Three Little Pigs. It consisted of a very large and rather strange looking wolf, three randomly placed three little pigs, and a somewhat abstract mobile depicting the three houses in the story. The wolf was made of two large pieces of wood with, surprise, a slide hiding in between. I suppose that makes the slider represent the wolf's heavy blows which is pretty cute. Definitely one of Declan's favorites. He slid down the slide 3 times. Wasn't much to stand and look at for long and I almost missed the mobile in the tree. Also, not much an explanation of the story but then again I guess everyone knows this one. B-










Well I hope you enjoyed my little series. We had a great time looking at all of this and it was fun to get back to Cheekwood again. It was fun just to remember Jill's wedding as it was the last time we had been. Or the time before when we went with Suzanne and the kids. Luckily we had enough time to walk the sculpture trail and we even saw three deer.

Well Well

I honestly thought I'd be posting sooner than this. I guess the only excuse I have is that Declan demands a lot of my time. That is proven to me just now when, as I'm writing that last sentence, Declan ran up to me drag me away to his room. Anyways, I'm not here to make excuses or apologize, just to try to stay connected. I don't have too much happening right now other than the norm. I didn't get to the Y as much this week as I would have liked. I couldn't help that much since Declan has a little cold which is a big no no for the nursery there. Declan, some of our friends, and I went to the zoo this week. It was so great to go because it was actually a pretty cool day weather-wise. I did get a job this week which was pretty awesome. I am going to start babysitting a friend's child a few days every week. This job looks to be pretty permanent so it is great to feel like I am contributing again. It is kind of ironic though because I had just gotten to the point where I no longer felt guilty or less of a person because I wasn't bringing money into the house and now I have that opportunity to do so. I already told Brett that we are not counting it into our normal budget though because I won't aways have the job and there is no telling if I'll be needed one week and not the next. So hopefully any money I make can go into the fun or remodeling fund with no worries. I hope everyone has a great labor day weekend! Enjoy the picture of Declan at the balloon festival.

Absent

Yikes! It's embarrassing to see how long it has been since I have last posted. I wish I could say that all this time has been filled with adventure, fun, and gained life experience but unfortunately most of my time was spent gaining weight, being depressed about said weight, and working up the motivation to get out of the house. That is not to say there hasn't been a few wonderful moments in the past three months. For starters, Declan, my MIL, and I visited family in Florida. We went to the beach, an awesome vegan restaurant, and a balloon festival! It was great visiting with everyone there and I only wished Brett could have come along. Declan and I also visited with other family members in Colorado, more on that later. You might ask where Brett was, well he was very busy at work. One of the few pitfalls of his job is that summer is their crunch time. No trips, no vacation time, nothing but unpaid overtime for him during this season. It makes summer family vacations pretty much impossible. Hum...Another reason to home school maybe? Anyways everything is back on track. I have a weight loss plan(30min-2 hour workouts at the YMCA almost everyday), Brett's less busy at work, and Declan and I are getting out a lot more often. So check back often because I will be posting more in the coming weeks. I have several pictures and memories to share from Pagosa Springs. Also, I'm going to start a series on our bathroom remodel. Exciting stuff!

I think its safe to say that I'm on a craft kick. I guess I have Suzanne to thank for that. She made the most beautiful toys and purse last Christmas and it inspired me. This particular quilt was made last January for my cousin's son. It is my first quilt and the start of a new confidence in sewing. I've already had a couple of requests for more quilts. Compared to Lucian's quilt, this quilt is probably a more desirable size for extended family and friends. It took me two hours to complete and with very little materials. Much more fulfilling than running to the store.

Little something for Ris

I can't say that I am totally into this style of fabric but it screamed Rissie. It was once pants, yes pants, but they were way too small for her. It probably took me an hour to actually do this and I was able to salvage the lower leg ties for the accent. Overall it was fun and simple to do. I just love those projects! What is she going to do with something like this? Why hang it from the rear view mirror of her "enhanced" Hyundai of course.

Beautiful

No, I did not paint this, my friend Kesiah did. I happened to vocally admire it while visiting her house and she just gave it away. Yes, gave it away! Okay okay, maybe I'm more excited it about this than most but I think its great. Kesiah's not completely happy with it but she was done working on it and I was more than happy to hang it on my wall. Thanks Kesiah, I love to look at it every time I eat. :)

Sling

Declan has a new fascination with babies (Yay!). He was very interested in my sling so I made him his own. As you can see, this fabric is getting a lot of use.

Happy Birth Day Lucian!

I know this is a little late but better late than never. On May 27, our nephew was born. He surprised most of us by being a boy. I had planned to make a quilt and came really close to putting his possible girl name on it, I'm so glad I didn't. We got the call that he was born at 6:30am and since I was awake (thanks abilify and Declan), I got to work. I spent the next two hours completing this in time to take it to its recipient. I was disappointed and proud of it all at the same time. I could have done better but I really wanted to hand it over and be done with it. I hope Lucian grows up loving this blanket and he knows how much I loved making it for him. Happy Birthday Lucian.

Going Live

Here I am world! First, thank you for visiting. I set this page up so I can organize my random happenings and share with friends and family. So many people have moved away and I hope that by having this blog, I can connect with everyone once again. Having Declan has been the greatest joy (and challenge) of my life but he keeps me busy and with little time for emails or conversations. So bookmark this page, put it in your RSS reader, or even set it as your homepage because here I am baby.